


importance of bros

by pRESENTMIC



Series: another hamilgroup chat [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Group chat, Jokes, Lovely, M/M, Texting, ange and peggs are single, it's another one, puns, the poor souls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8415766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pRESENTMIC/pseuds/pRESENTMIC
Summary: hambologna: ham and bologna are unique.johnturd: aren't ham and bologna the same thinghambologna: ham is made from the thigh and butt of pork, bologna's basically thinly sliced hot dog sausages.johnturd: i love me some sliced thighs and butts.laflaugh: dont





	

  _hambologna has added margarita, burro, johnturd, hercyou, laflaugh, elizzza, mamaria, angealous, macnyes, and justmad to "rant of the day"_

 **hambologna:** seriously, jefferson. "macnyes"? that's an insult to humanity. macaroni and cheese is, by far, the most disgusting thing that exists in this universe.

 **macnyes:** well, excuse me, look who's talking.

 **hambologna:** ham and bologna are two unique types of food. 

 **johnturd:** aren't ham and bologna the same thing 

 **hambologna:** ham is made from the thigh and butt of pork, bologna's basically thinly sliced hot dog sausages.

 **johnturd:** i love me some sliced thighs and butts. 

 **laflaugh:** dont 

 **hercyou:** i am greeted with t h i s.

 **burro:** Why have I been invited. 

 **hambologna:** you are my passive aggressive enemy. why would i only invite jefferson. 

 **johnturd:** t r i g g e r e d 

 **margarita:**  do i sense the presence oF A MEME???  

 **angealous:** why'd you get her started. 

 **maragarita:** OH SHIZ, WHAT UP? 

 **hambologna:** did you just. censor????

 **elizzza:** she's not permitted to type or say any form of profanity. 

 **johnturd:** i pity you.

 **justmad:** what'd i miss 

 **macnyes:** that's my line 

 **hercyou:** your line, my jackass.

 **hambologna:** dID 

 **johnturd:** YOU JUST 

 **laflaugh:** CENSOR???

 **hercyou:** we are in the presence of a minor. we have to be good examples.

 **hambologna:** i bet peggy's a drug dealer.

 **hercyou:** shhUUUSH. 

 **margarita:** my dorm mate's a smoker 

 **elizzza:** don't you DARE start smoking. 

 **mamaria:** or start taking anything that's not tylenol.  

 **margarita:** what about 

 **angealous:** if you do anything illegal, i will personally come over and sentence you to house arrest for the rest of your life. 

 **hambologna:** isn't peggy all the way in california? 

 **margarita:** uc berkeley ftw 

 **hambologna:** NO, COLOMBIA 

 **macnyes:** william & mary will always have my heart 

 **justmad:** princeton 

 **hercyou:** screw you and your brainpower

 **hambologna:** waht are you talking about

 **laflaugh:** you graduated from colombia. 

 **johnturd:** you're smart. 

 **hercyou:** tru 

 **johnturd:** anyways 

 **johnturd:** who's heard of in the heIGHTs 

 **hambologna:** what's that

 **johnturd:** YOU DATE ME, HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW???

 **hambologna:** i don't keep track of all the fandoms you're in.

 **johnturd:** I. AM. INSULTED

 **hambologna:** *shrugs*

 **hercyou:** did yoU JUST

 **macnyes:** you seriously referenced myspace

 **macnyes:** wait, is that a myspace reference?

 **laflaugh:** i can't remember

 **laflaugh:** it was too long ago

 **johnturd:** it feels just like it was yesterday 

 **hercyou:** i'm suing. 

 **johnturd:** you're not even a lawyer.

 **hercyou:** my closest friend is a lawyer 

 **johnturd:** your closest friend is my bf.

 **hercyou:** touchéEEFYEGR3WA

 **hercyou:** laf stoP TICKLING ME 

 **johnturd:** ew, cute couples

 **angealous:** you don't have a license to say that

 **margarita:** only singles

 **angealous:** and you will stay that way, dear sister

 **margarita:**  john

 **johnturd:**  present

 **margarita:**  i searched up in the heights and do you know what i just realized

 **johnturd:**  IN THE HEIGHTS! continue

 **margarita:**  that benny guy looks a lot like gwash

 **hambologna:**  i heard gwash, what's the news 

 **johnturd:**  ohmywash you're right 

 **hambologna:**  who's benny?

 **johnturd:** _sent an image: benny.jpg_  

 **hambologna:**  beaver dam

 **hercyou:**  wow

 **laflaugh:**  alex, did you just censor

 **hercyou:**  i am shaming

 **hambologna:**  shut up, i'm gonna invite the boss

 **johnturd:** well carp

_hambologna has added georgewash to "rant of the day"_

**georgewash:**  Why am I here?

 **macnyes:** #relatable

 **hercyou:** ya'll serious?

 **hambologna:** i found your younger doppelganger 

 **georgewash:** What?

 **hambologna:** scroll up 

 **georgewash:** My goodness.  

 **johnturd:** crazy right, mr. boss?

 **georgewash:** Don't call me that, and no, it's not "crazy".

 **hercyou:** what 

 **georgewash;** That's me.

 **hambologna;** WHAT

 **georgewash:** I was a performer eight years ago.

 **laflaugh:** performers are hot

 **hercyou:** stop flirting with a forty year old boss

 **georgewash:** I would be insulted if that wasn't true.

 **johnturds:** can we get back to the topic that ALEXANDER'S BOSS IS BENNY? THE ORIGINAL BENNY? DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I SPENT LISTENING TO YOUR VOICE AS A CHILD?

 **hercyou:** if you were such a big fan, why don't you know the cast member names 

 **johnturds:** IT SLIPPED MY MIND. IT'S BEEN A VERY LONG TIME, HERC.

 **burro:** Wow.

_georgewash has left "rant of the day"_

**hambologna:**  not opinionated has GIVEN A STRAIGHT ANSWER FOR ONCE IN HIS FRICKETY FRACKING LIFE.

 **burro:** "frickety fracking"??

 **johnturd:** snORTS

**burro:**

**johnturd:** lighten up, burr-o

 **johnturd:** i just realized your username is the pronunciation of bro

 **hercyou:** john, are you sick? 

 **hercyou:** you added a longer-than-ten-letters word in your message

 **johnturd:** it's called the importance of bro.

 **angealous:** i have no words

 **elizzza:** communication is more important

 **johnturd:** why am i friends with a psychology major.

 **hambologna:** psychology= pAIN

 **elizzza:** are you scared i'm going to be a therapist?

 **macnyes:** we're all terrified

 **hambologna:** wait, did jefferson just let me in on hIS MENTAL HEALTH

 **macnyes:** what? NO

 **hambologna:** TELL ME ALL YOUR PROBLEMS, THOMAS

 **macnyes:** WHAT. I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MY MENTAL STABILITY

 **justmad:** that's a good enough clue

 **macnyes:** WTH THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. IT'S POSSIBLE TO BE MENTALLY STABLE AND HATE THERAPY.

 **laflaugh:** I'M MENTALLY STABLE AND CHILL WITH THERAPY

 **macnyes:** SO? IT'S ONE PERSON

 **hercyou:** 2, including me

 **johnturd:** 3 

 **angealous:** 4 

 **elizzza;** 5

 **hambologna:** 6

 **justmad:** 7

 **margarita:** 8 

 **burro:** I already take therapy so, 9

 **elizzza:** you do?

 **hambologna:** i'm learning so much

 **macnyes:** THAT STILL DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING

 **hambologna:** talk to us

 **macnyes:** there's nothing wrong

 **macnyes:** this group chat isn't group counseling\

 **hambologna:** well now it is

 **johnturd:** so spill

 **macnyes:** i???

 _macnyes left "rant of the day"_  

_hambologna added macnyes to "rant of the day"_

**hambologna:** dENIAL

 **elizzza:** you're free to dm me, thomas

 **macnyes:** this is weird

 **laflaugh:** non

 **hercyou:** i agree with laf

 **macnyes:** i hate this

 **justmad:** want to come over?

 **macnyes:** sure.

_macnyes left "rant of the day"_

**hambologna:**  i feel the need to have a heart to heart 

 **hambologna:** is that weird

 **johnturd:** aww, you admit your concern for jefferson 

 **hambologna:** ew 

 **hercyou:** shHHH, don't listen to your denial 

 **hambologna:** but, like, i'm genuinely curious now. 

 **johnturd:** as soon as someone says something abnormal you wonder about their personal life

 **hambologna:** true 

~~~~~

- **macnyes**

 **hambologna:** sooo 

 **macnyes:** why are you here 

 **hambologna:** how's life? 

 **macnyes:** it would be better if you weren't in this chat 

 **hambologna:** "better"? is it not good right now?? 

 **macnyes:** stop twisting the meaning of my words 

 **hambologna:** you know you can talk to me, though, right?

 **macnyes:**  

 **hambologna:** i won't judge  

 _macnyes is no longer online._  

 _~~~~~_  

 **-rant of the day**  

 **hambologna:** i attempted 

 **elizzza:** no luck? 

 **angealous:** goddangit, this is making me feel concerned

 **hercyou:** maybe we're just overthinking 

 **johnturd:** probs 

 **margarita:** who knows 

 **laflaugh:** herc, i have popcorn 

 **hercyou:** no escape 

 **laflaugh:** GET READY FOR HERCULES 

 **johnturd:** sshUSH, YOU'RE RUINING THE MOMENT 

 **laflaugh:** what moment? 

 **laflaugh:** oh 

 **hercyou** :i dunno, guys. it's probably nothing. you can't just gain evidence from one single chat 

 **hambologna:** you're probably right 

 **angealous:** 1 

 **margarita:** 2 

 **burro:** 3 

 **johnturd:** 4 

 **laflaugh:** ok, shut it, the movie's starting 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote something that everyone in this fandom has written at least twice.
> 
> sue me
> 
> kudos to whoever thought up of this au. you're my soulmate.
> 
> edit: i keep catching my typos the minute i publish this, so like, if there's new stuff it's because i realized stuff


End file.
